yes I know I’m sorry I was late but I put lotion on right before I left and it took me 20 minutes to get the door open
Smart and lazy is a horrible combination that results in disappointed teachers, exasperated friends and a whole lot of bad doodling
i knew this guy in middle school who when asked about his future plans, even by school counselors or teachers would without fail always chant,
KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE
REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE
i wonder what he’s up to these days.
guarding our galaxy
1 am Dave Marx line before phone died
Biggest park in North America
Heavy session to follow
i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?
it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie
waking up and realizing you still have more time to sleep
she definitely named her daughter with this joke in mind and waited patiently for years for the chance to finally make it